Day 1 ....

Started the Next '12 months to change your body' plan today. Fifteen mins easy pedalling on the exercycle - who can't manage that? Got some tummy exercises to do as well and that's it for today. This plan is really well timed for me, given my goal of losing weight before I turn 40 next year. It goes for a year, and my birthday's in July so it's perfect.

Having a nice healthy lunch today too - baked potato with tuna and salad. Might have some pineapple after. Nothing wrong with that, and it's tasty too.

Not sure what I'm gonna do re weighing myself. They reckon not to for the first month or so but I don't know if I can hold out that long, lol. We'll see.

I realised something today.

I hate bloody stretch fabric!! I mean, it has its place .... But when it's all you're able to wear 'cos you're too friggen fat to wear anything structured, it gets a bit old. Tried shopping at Farmers' sale today but one shapeless stretchy top looks much like another after a while, so I left with nothing.

AAAARRRGGGHHHHHH!!!!

I've started.

I printed off the fact sheets for all the courses that might fit the bill at Ucol. I have to compare them and decide which one to go for, and then get in touch with WINZ to see if I qualify for a subsidy. Hopefully!

I've been doing some navel gazing, and have realised a few things about myself. I've been cruising through life, not taking any chances. Looking at situations from every angle before making a decision, which sometimes leads to not making a decision at all. Too scared I might make a mistake, when really, making mistakes is the only way people learn. And while I'm keeping myself safe, I'm also making sure I stay in exactly the same place I'm in now. A huge rut!

No more. Well, maybe a little bit more, lol. But I'm going to start putting myself out there a bit, taking a few risks. I'm sure it'll be worth it.

On another note, I think I'm gonna have to keep the stray cat that's hanging around. She seems very attached to us, even though I've given her no encouragement at all, and she and Paris are best of friends. I wasn't planning on having another cat at all but I feel sorry for her.

Talk later.

Off the wagon again. What is up with me??? I'm in such a rut and it's soooo hard to get out of it. I need to start making some changes, but even where to start is a decision that feels beyond me at times.

Right, here's a list of all the things I need to get on top of. I'm gonna start working my way through them, one step at a time.

* Weight - well, duh!
* Study - choose a programme to enrol in and just DO IT.
* WINZ - to talk through my options re study and grants etc.
* I need to get my licence, which is just a matter of booking the test. Oh, and paying for it of course, which is an issue right now.
* The cat needs fixing - might as well add that to the list, lol.
* Income - I NEED to find some ways to increase my income. I'm really struggling at the moment and don't want to keep living like this.

Ok, so this week I'm going to look through all my study options and finally make a choice. New semesters will be starting soon and if I don't sort it out now I'll miss out. That's my goal for this week.

So I've put my back out ....

LMAO - what else can go wrong. Mowing the blardy lawns, it's so friggen wet and muddy out there my feet kept slipping and I ended up tweaking my back. It's getting better and I managed to go for a gentle walk today so HOPEFULLY soon everything will be back to normal - whatever *normal* is, lol - and I can get back into things.

On a lighter note, pun intended, I somehow managed to lose 3lb over the last couple of weeks. Whatever, however, I'm happy with that. I want one of those weight loss ticker things so I can watch it go down.

That's me for today, nothing else to add.

It's been a crappy few days.

Cameron's had pneumonia and I've spent most of the last four days sitting in a chair next to her bed. My heart might have been racing some of the time but I don't think it counts as exercise. I've been eating whatever was to hand, mostly hot buttered toast and mandarins, lol - not exactly nutritious. But Cameron's home now and on the road to recovery so hopefully - once I get some good rest myself - things can get back to normal.

Bahahahaha, so much for my *pledge*.

I've missed a workout already. What's it been - one day? OMG. But I have learned from this - I HAVE to workout in the morning, otherwise I just can't be bothered. I'll make it up, and I won't let myself get caught out like that again.

On the plus side, I've eaten pretty healthily today, I'm quite impressed. Had some choccie, but come on, who can live without chocolate. Not I! Haven't had enough fruit but will try harder tomorrow.

I've also been trying to sort out my study options. I've finally decided what I want to do, which is pursue my computer skills further. Silly really - I've been racking my brains for ages, trying to figure out what it is I really love that I could do as a job, and it was right in front of me. I love typing, word processing, spreadsheets, desktop publishing, I'd even like to have a crack at web design. With my accounting background I think it would give me options. I'd like to extend on the accounting thing by learning MYOB and some other accounting software packages too.

There's a course at UCOL that kinda fits the bill but it's full time and I'm not sure I want that. Plus the old self esteem thing (or lack of) is kicking in - fear of the unknown etc. I need to at least ring UCOL and chat to someone about what would be the best course for me. Maybe tomorrow?

Right, off to watch people slaughtering songs I like on Stars in Their Eyes, lol.